If you and your partner have a child, do you think you’re a modern family? Do you share your responsibilities equally? Apparently, moms often have a heavier workload without even realizing it.
Of course, when you have a child, the workload of both parents increases. But one parent – it’s often a mom – does more work as the other. Dads are unaware of how many things the other parent takes care of. For example, who plans, anticipates, worries and notices everything? A mom. And it is called the mental load.
The mental load is applied to all aspects to raising kids. Now you may be thinking that you (as a woman) are better at handling all these things, but men can handle the mental workload in their jobs. So why can’t they do the same at home?
I think it’s because they don’t have to. There is a person who does that for them, so all these worrying and planning are invisible to them. So, let’s talk about all these things that moms have to take care of.
When you have a child, you see lots of stuff everywhere. Moms are trying to get some of the crap out of the house, such as broken umbrellas, books, mountains of forgotten toys, etc. Deciding on what a family needs, anticipating what is appropriate for a child, noticing what a kid will need in future.
And then clothes. As a mom, how much time do you spend sorting through it? How many mountains of outgrown clothing do you have? As a mom, you have to think if your child outgrown the current clothes, or will he/she wear it again? And your husband may not even know the shoe size of a baby.
Every time you attend a party for kids, you have to buy a gift. And not just any gift, but something age-appropriate that the child doesn’t have and the parents will approve. And there are Christmas gifts, birthday gifts, teacher gifts, etc. You have to find the best deals, choose something on sale that you think they will like. Sometimes, moms even choose their Mother’s Day gifts.
Staying In Touch With Others
Most often, a mom knows everything about birthdays, family visits, family activities, preparing for these activities, making sure your child spends enough time with grandparents and cousins, etc. She organizes playdates with friends and knows who a child is hanging out with and who is a good influence.
As a mom, you have to read records, take care of many school forms, permission slips and emergency contact forms. And then a mom knows what subjects a child is struggling with, how to contact a teacher, when it is time for school parties, how to prepare lunches and send lunch money.
Mom has to take care of a family calendar, remember schedules, fix conflicts, etc. For example, it includes bus schedules, days off, concerts, lessons, field trips, parties, doctor appointments, school meetings, haircuts, summer camps and sleepovers: all these things that everybody forgets to notify you.
Making shopping lists, budgeting, noticing what is running low, knowing meal times, thinking how to prepare veggies the kid-friendly way, balancing health concerns with treats.
And finally, a mom always knows who needs a hug, who needs emotional support, who needs to talk, etc. A mom knows how to help a child manage anger and fight anxiety, deal with negative feelings, be less bossy and learn empathy. This is only the tip of the iceberg. And that is why many moms need dads who can help them notice all these things.