Every parent knows that little babies need us more than anything. But it’s not enough to physically be in the same room. There is something more important that helps kids develop in a healthy way. What is it, you ask? Read on to find out!
What we talk about is an attachment that can develop between a baby and a parent. A British scientist once said that during his experiments babies started to cry when they were separated from the parent and then immediately calmed down when reunited. He made a conclusion that it is somehow indicated the quality of the bond between the child and the parent.
When a baby knows a parent is there to support him, he will calm down quickly when the parent comes. Scientists call this effect the “secure attachment”. As a parent, you need to be there for your baby when he is hurt, upset, stressed or bothered and make him feel better. Doing so will develop the feeling of attachment which helps babies to overcome challenges.
Children who haven’t developed the feeling of attachment can crawl away when the parent is near. They don’t even look at parents. But if baby doesn’t crying, it doesn’t mean he is fine. According to studies, children with insecure attachment feel stressed and have higher heart rates.
These babies develop unhealthy behavior that is called “manage-on-my-own”. These children are harder to calm and they don’t like being with parents or other people, demanding comfort. Babies who experience stress respond to separation in a positive way.
The Difference between Secure Attachment and Attachment Parenting
Attachment parenting is a popular term that means the close proximity of a baby and a parent and the importance of avoiding stresses. However, secure attachment is not about physical connection (which is also important!); it means that your child knows you are there for him.
Many parents believe that more physical contact is always better, so they spend every minute with a baby and even sleep with them at night. However, how you feel for your child is more important.
The Importance of the Secure Attachment
Why is it so important? Because it can define how children will solve problems, value independence, be confident, competent and socially open. Of course, secure attachment is not a remedy and your child can become insecure later in life but at least you have done everything to prevent it.
Doctors say that you can evaluate the level of attachment during your next visit to the doctor. This situation is stressful for a child and you can analyze the child’s response when you’re with him. There is even a special scale to help you observe whether your child is securely attached to you. If the behavioral pattern is strange (for example, the child isn’t looking at you when he gets hurt), you should talk to the doctor to find ways to build this attachment.
When your child is small, his future isn’t set. His mind is very flexible and you have a great influence on it. What you do now will shape the way he thinks and behaves. As your child grows up, they will start exploring the world by himself and experience negative feelings, too. Children will move further from you, but they need to know they have a place where they can find support and reassurance.
What do you think of secure attachment? Share your thoughts in the comment section!