People tend to rationalize their behavior so that everything they do is always right. Is it what people who argue in front of their children do when claim that quarrels are perfectly normal and helps kids to mature?

Let’s face it: there are hardly any couples that never argue. Arguments break out because of money, broken promises, sexual frustration, relationships with in laws and different views on how to raise children.

Among other reasons for having a fight is an inability to forget/forgive your spouses’ past, marital infidelity, hurt feelings, exhaustion (only too often being tired makes you both dumber and angrier) and money (it was mentioned before, but you can’t really overstate how deeply a low income can affect your marriage).

Should quarrels happen in front of your children? Or should you pretend for a while that everything is all right only to have a big argument with your spouse when kids are fast asleep?

Those who think that spontaneous arguments are normal say that there is no hypocrisy in their marriages, that they are always honest and not afraid to show their true feelings. They say that children who witness a parental argument learn how to express their emotions and how to make up. And, if it comes to the inevitable divorce, kids will be fully prepared to it beforehand.

Those who can’t bear the thought of having a fight in front of their children believe that what was said before is nothing but excuses for being quick-tempered and unable to control your emotions. They say that what you will really teach your kids is that it is OK to have a short fuse.

They add that it is very likely that your quarrels will scare the life out of your children; it is also quite probable that uncontrolled arguments will lead to your kids suffering from anxiety and having problems at school. They conclude that if your quarrels continue long enough, the kids will really dream that your marriage breaks up as soon as possible.

It is up to you to take sides: choose carefully.